them: name one of your weaknesses
me: i hate computers
Dick King-Smith HQ
@DickKingSmith
·
29 oct.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the woods...
Sun Chat
@iHugGirls
·
18 juil.
wtf r daddy issues ? just traumatize your father back
dan hett
@danhett
·
25 oct.
this year I'm taking part in NO-vember (pronounced "november") where I will be saying no to everything, go away
Felix Coulpat
@FongiqueMafioso
·
1 nov.
je veux plus jamais travailler, juste filer des coups de main
formerly evil paddington
@ElsieKFisher
·
8 nov.
this would fix all my problems
Edmond Charivari
@ECharivari
·
11 nov.
Idée d'un marmiton pour chanson : j'ai bien aimé la chanson mais j'ai mis un mi mineur à la place du do7 et ajouté une petite percussion dans le refrain
carmeb
@therealcbrad
·
11 nov.
Salt can’t be the only delicious rock. I’m going to eat rocks to find the good ones. I bet they’re trying to keep them from us
AIC: Arms, Armor, Medieval, and Renaissance (Bot)
@aic_armor
·
13 nov.
Stag with Herb Branch Mounted as a Ring, 1567 https://artic.edu/artworks/119338/
#armsarmor #museumarchive
Casey Nowak
@IgnatzHaderach
·
13 nov.
My four years of art school were less valuable than that one time dogcopter appeared to steven universe in a dream and told him "art is all about communication"
Tim (non-spooky, non-Halloween version)
@burgotastic
·
13 nov.
Oh, you like vampire weekend? You have vampire unions to thank for that.
November (2017 Film)
@bombsfall
·
16 nov.
If I was a detective I would work out my personal demons before starting to take cases.
aLec robBins
@alecrobbins
·
18 nov.
ultimately i just want to be kind, find my people, stay indoors, make my weird little shit, and not die
Kirsty Rolfe
@avoiding_bears
·
19 nov.
yes. this is what I need. please let me just crawl into the bin
gryme
@grym333
·
22 nov.
bug lords
Feliz nAvivadad Étoile scintillante
@AvivaMaiArtzy
·
23 nov.
I just think it’s cute that stamps are stickers with a job
Cliff Tyrannosaure Jerrison Drapeau transgenre
@pervocracy
·
7h
how do people on tiktok have the confidence to put their actual faces up there every time they have an opinion, 99% of the time I'm tweeting I'm sitting here looking like one of those fish that only lives in caves and also this particular fish has been having a rough year
Aarón Cantú @aaron_con_choco · 14 avr.
I think we’re beyond the “raise awareness” phase of practically every significant social issue.
arcia Belsky @MarciaBelsky · 5 avr.
I bring a sort of “we should all quit” vibe to the workplace that bosses don’t really like
Cara Ellison @caraellison · 10 avr.
tired of self-care. how about a little bit of government care. political care. infrastructural care.
anthony
@butterwolf
·
23 août 2015
[i go to put out my electronic cigarette on a framed photo of someone i used to love but it only taps the glass] damn this piss hell future.
Bea_ker
@bea_ker
·
1 déc. 2018
FRIEND: have you heard of the beach boys?
ME: do you mean fish
you gain beazouf
@beesmygod_
·
10 oct.
i dont have two wolves inside of me i have this shit going on
gong yo’s bitch
@HESIRONZDAYA
·
11 oct.
le prix des poussette omg?? le bb dans le tote bag
celebrated vermin expert 𓆏
@urbanfriendden
·
23 juin 2019
(eats exactly one apple) where is my health you wretched orb
neural net guesses memes
@ResNeXtGuesser
·
10 oct.
Image prediction: harmonica
Confidence: 41.26%
LIZZIE CROWDAGGER
@Crowdagger
·
13 oct.
L'existence des think tanks implique l'existence des think dps et des think healers
conner is afraid
@thebadbucket
·
13 oct.
will someone pay me to walk around and look at things all day
Molly Lambert Hérisson
@mollylambert
·
18 oct.
one thing I feel like we're not acknowledging as a society is that everyone is now just completely insane
marni
@AmbianceOpinel
·
19 oct.
idée de nom pour un collectif d'archéologues communistes : marteau et fossiles
DAWNING CROW
@dawning_crow
·
19 oct.
The living room cat
Suave Morbida
@Maitre_Poulard
·
20 oct.
Je vous conseille par ailleurs cette page sur le destin des échantillons lunaires offerts aux nations du monde. La plupart ont disparu ou ont été volés Stolen_and_missing_Moon_rocks
halloweena sabak
@ninasabak
·
17 oct.
in 2021, one must ask: is this seasonal affective disorder, depression, a realistic response to the state of the world, or simply the way I feel from now on?
ruby Crocodile
@roobeekeane
·
8 janv.
me going on a stupid little daily walk just to feel something
Existential Comics
@existentialcoms
·
22 sept.
Be the cringe you want to see in the world.
conner is asleep
@thebadbucket
·
25 sept.
today’s offerings
big poster character
@JDespland
·
25 sept.
where do correct ideas come from? do they drop from the skies? no. are they innate in the mind? no. they come from touching grass
Aly Dixon
@aly__dixon
·
25 sept.
doctor at my check up asked me if i had “any feelings of depression or anxiety” and i said “don’t we all” and she said “no” lol
stephanie
@isosteph
·
28 sept.
uniquely bad energy to be on a little computer all the time in a really packed city there should only be like 10 giant computers in the world and they should be in various deserts and you should have to journey for many miles on foot to come and operate them
Farah Bazzi & فرح بَزّي
@FarahmBazzi
·
29 sept.
One of my favorite James Baldwin lines; “There is reason, after all, that some people wish to colonize the moon, and others dance before it as an ancient friend.”
charlie
@chunkbardey
·
5 oct.
stopped needing therapy cuz i learned the phrase “well what are you gonna do”
Chauve-sourisCitrouille-lanterne shiver angeline north Citrouille-lanterneChauve-souris
@_ratbooks_
·
4 oct.
THE INTERNET ISNT FOR TALKING WITH FRIENDS ITS FOR STEALING SHIT
KAVARI 𖥸᷁∴
@KAVARI_
·
5 oct.
i think about this video almost every week
Agar Plant
@akaAgar
·
6 oct.
En route pour un apéritif dinatoire, je l'espère suivi d'un dîner apéroïdoforme
conner is asleep
@thebadbucket
·
6 oct.
today’s offerings
The Discourse Lover
@Trillburne
·
9 oct.
Sleeping is so feminine. "Ooh, let me get comfy and let down my guard so I can dream." We need a masculine alternative: some kind of restorative feat of strength and daring
jess
@queervengeance
·
7 oct.
no more awareness months. I have become too aware. I am aware of everything. I am constantly gripped by the crushing weight of my unending awareness. pls god make it stop
𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖊 🕷
@thholyghost
·
8 oct.
everyone thinks that their cat is the cutest cat in the world and youre actually all correct
Robert Schultz
@_RobertSchultz
·
8 oct.
“i only need 4 hours of sleep a night and i’m good!” - the crankiest person you’ve ever met
Daniel Holland🎗Drapeau du pays de Galles
@DannyDutch
·
8 oct.
Look at it dance
Dracula Awareness Activist
@bombsfall
·
5 sept.
Can't sleep, thinking about doing stuff you do when you have insomnia like randomly taking a 3 mile walk around town and loitering in back parking lots looking at milk crates and chain link fences and getting inexplicably emotional that they share a crisscross lattice pattern
Undine
@HorribleSanity
·
8 sept.
This may be the most helpful thing you learn all day. (Strand Magazine)
the lickety~split
@olicketysplit
·
9 sept.
Good Dog
is what I say to my
fish when I pet her.
A dog is anything small
& good to me. She nips
my finger, breaks no skin
but the water’s.
Today I took my pills & felt
little. Now I feel lots. I love this
thing of mine. Her fins are good
& her tail is too. Good dog.
Heydon
@heydonworks
·
9 sept.
Please post the cringe on Tiktok, the "oh whoops I'm rich" on Instagram, and the astrology on Facebook. Acceptable Twitter topics:
* Satan
* CSS
* Deliberately misidentifying liminal spaces
Robinson Boucan
@robinsonboucan
·
12 sept.
clintoris
@clintoris
·
12 sept.
taking a very hot shower after a long shift at the restaurant and pretending I’m a fork in the dishwasher because I have no therapist
Will Sennett
@Senn_Spud
·
13 sept.
I love movies sometimes I think about them when im at the store or driving
fangmeli
@pangmeli
·
15 sept.
I am mentally counting the whole pandemic as 1 year. I don't care how long it goes on for, it's 1 year. it's just a longer year, which is fine. years have no defined length. years are just containers
DIESEL Pompe à essence
@ThinDieselle
·
16 sept.
an unvaccinated person died (crowd cheers) but they were unvaccinated because of their disability (crowd boos) but they were a republican voter (crowd cheers) but they were a mother (crowd boos) to a future school shooter (mixed reaction from crowd)
everest
@everestpipkin
·
18 sept.
choose your ancient deity cursed to walk the earth in mortal form
conner is asleep
@thebadbucket
·
18 sept.
En réponse à
@everestpipkin
few more options
trash jones
@jzux
·
17 sept.
adulthood is wild because one day you get a little sleepy and then you stay that way for the rest of your life
big poster character
@JDespland
·
7 sept.
reading about etymology of metal names and it's like "nickel comes from the old german "nickel" (goblin) because miners thought its ore was copper cursed by a goblin", "cobalt comes from the old german kobalt (kobold) because miners thought its ore was copper cursed by a kobold"
Emma Berquist
@eeberquist
·
20 sept.
Annihilation is about how cool lighthouses are
osef
Tiger Tateishi (1941 - 1998)
poopsicle
@vonpeepster
·
6 mars
But I'm a crepe. I'm a weird dough
¢harArc-en-ciel
@shesatornado
·
10 juin
I hope this email doesn't find you. I hope you've escaped, that you're free.
approaching sentinelese w printed pepe frens memes
@suicidepussy
·
14 août
Yeah ok, I'll just go ahead living another 40 or 50 years 🙄 lmfao. Sure, I'll go right ahead and do that, another ~18,250 days, I'll get right on that🤣hey maybe ill even let my joints get all creaky and develop dementia too😂👌 dumb fuck
bailey moon
@Baileymoon15
·
2 avr.
the point of tweeting is not to go viral. the point of tweeting is to get a few likes and a concerned text from a friend
Trevor Moore
@TrevorLess
·
6 juin 2017
HR LADY: And it says here under Emergency Contacts you just wrote "FIRE TRUCK"
ME: [visibly excited] Fire truck
Diabetic of Enlightenment
@dee_bee_h
·
9 août
ok, now that we know climate change is real, it’s time to put our lit degrees to work to imagine new forms of non-anthropocentric collectivity that do not depend on the instrumentalization of nonhuman environments, like what we find here in this one Emily Dickinson poem
becca t
@beccateeth
·
17 août
Me eating pizza for breakfast
Daisybéissance civile
@GoldfishFight
·
19 août
Les films James Bond seraient beaucoup plus réalistes si 007 était une femme parceque ça expliquerait pourquoi les méchants ne peuvent s'empêcher de lui expliquer leur plan.
Michal
@Miexriir
·
17 août
A 5 second WarioWare microgame where you have to decide which sentence gets the 1 exclamation point of the work email
first-mate prance
@bocxtop
·
18 août
a bored caveman rubbed two sticks together until it lit up now i gotta do battle with excel from 9am to 5pm everyday
Math Lady Hazel Drapeau de l'Argentine
@mathladyhazel
·
18 août
math notations explained
= equals
=/= not equals
< left
> right
! LOUD NUMBER
~ worm
π stonehenge
√ right answer
x wrong answer
⋯ soon…
∮ what Exactly the fuck
∝ fish
∞ fish with 2 heads
↯ lightning
:⇔ he Scream
Ho3K | Daramgar SOON avec flèche pointant vers la droite au-dessus Riptide
@Daramgaria
·
19 août
yea... i'm a she/they... *unshe/theys my katana and slices u in half*
Visage songeur
@antikirsten
·
19 août
self care is over we are losing our shit now
AIC: Arms, Armor, Medieval, and Renaissance (Bot)
·
23 août
Pendant Shaped as a Ship, 1600
Ōmar Symbole marque commerciale
@conan_lemirage
·
19 août
Les bébés ils aiment trop se réveiller tôt ils ont des rdv à la caf ou quoi ?
Guillaume D.
@GDeleur
·
21 août
Tout est parti en vrille lorsqu'ils ont commencé à retirer les grands panneaux électromécaniques cliquetant dans les gares.
fembot
@__femb0t
·
28 août
Pilea peperomioides vs Collection of satellite dishes
Tom Astle
@thomasastle
·
30 déc. 2020
imagine being a low poly animal. clipping into an LOD'd bush for camouflage. efficiently soaking up lighting with your unmatched surface area. sharing your texture atlas with a skull
john
@mrjohndarby
·
28 août
in a home invasion my attacker goes for a knife in the kitchen drawers but it's jammed by the potato masher and I make my escape
tara
@proletarat
·
28 août
“Can you explain this gap in your resume” yeah I made it in LaTeX and I don’t know how to make the paragraph breaks smaller
Jared Goldstein
@heyjaredhey
·
29 août
THE JOB SEARCH IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!! I’m still unemployed, I’m just over it!!!
Amanda Pendolino
@amandapendo
·
28 août
2021: congratulating your friends for quitting jobs as opposed to getting jobs
Leo Xander
@STALLE0N
·
3 août
Stop taking social media so serious. Nothing here is real. Look at this chicken 🐓🚗 it is bigger than the car
s.s
@toshoneko
·
5 août
Mecha
@MenacingMecha
·
6 août
big fan of this dude
squashbone
@squashbone
·
6 août
En réponse à
@MenacingMecha
i accidentally killed him and it is my lifes greatest failure
Mecha
@MenacingMecha
·
6 août
did he drop anything at least
squashbone
@squashbone
·
6 août
En réponse à
@MenacingMecha
nope. just regret.
ligature·fun Cactus
@ligaturerecords
·
4 août
plus de deux minutes d'écart entre http://heure.com et http://quelleheureestil.fr qui a joué avec l'horloge atomique et brisé l'espace-temps dénoncez-vous
conner is asleep
@thebadbucket
·
1h
today i am going to draw a fox
conner is asleep
@thebadbucket
·
1 min
En réponse à
@thebadbucket
i tried but today is a clouded brain day. fox will have to wait
Bushra Farooqui Livre ouvert
@startuployalist
·
2 janv. 2020
woke spaced-repetition: extending human cognition via external storage and across time
bespoke spaced-repetition: an autopoietic system where information time travels between your future and past self in a meaningful cybernetic loop
Manu
@NazaCongolais
·
14 juil.
Le document Word après avoir déplacé une image
10,000 Motivated Rats
@bombsfall
·
17 juil.
the shark tracking app really is just people heaping praise and encouragement on the sharks and honestly it has been a positive influence in my life this week
loud dame
@Sandernista412
·
25 juin
Hell yes
paul bassett davies
@thewritertype
·
15 juil.
I miss the time when the entire world was united in a shared vision of common humanity by a boat being stuck in a canal.
Marc Jahjah Homme mageTête de licorneArc-en-ciel
@marc_jahjah
·
12h
J'ai beau faire des "cartes heuristiques", tester tous les logiciels de "gestion de projets", de tâches et cie...je n'arrive pas à m'organiser. Peut-être que la solution, c'est juste d'en faire moins en fait. Je me demande si l'inadaptation n'est pas une forme de résistance
meg berkobien
@meg_berkobien
·
11 juil.
the rule should be: if you go to space, you forfeit your earthly dollars
Eamonn Leighton
@EamonnLeighton
·
10 juil.
How audio processing for voiceover works: a thread
COMPRESSION
Voice go AaaaAAAaaaaAaAaaaAAa but machine do aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
GATE
Voice go AaaaAAAaaaaAaAaaaAAa but machine do A AAA A A AA
NORMALIZATION
Voice go aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa but machine do AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
EQ
Voice go AaaaAAAaaaaAaAaaaAAa but machine do 𝓐𝓪𝓪𝓪𝓐𝓐𝓐𝓪𝓪𝓪𝓪𝓐𝓪𝓐𝓪𝓪𝓪𝓐𝓐𝓪
[...]
LeoooooonSoleil avec rayonsFleur @yubieyubie · 10 juil.
Did a printer write this tweet
snwoie @pixlsoda
shoutout to anyone whos favorite color combination is this
Aevee Bee
@MammonMachine
·
11 juil.
Maybe life also has a fishing minigame in it.
badru
@sonofbadru
·
11 juil.
tenderfoot was #lichencore and nextgame is #mosscore
cécile Rat
@haraiva
·
10 juil.
i can see myself really getting into subtitles formatting which is how you know im approaching my 30s
coolgirlonline
@coolgirl0nline
·
10 juil.
when i was a kid i had this game called worm church where id bring worms to my room and read them the bible
neuroticarsehole
@neuroticarsehol
·
10 juil.
leon
@leyawn
·
9 juil.
there is a cool mushroom growing in the forest you could be looking at. instead you are in front of computer
xenoanthropology
@LericDax
·
8 juil.
become ungovernable
Sarah Lazarus
@sarahclazarus
·
8 juil.
there should be a post-pandemic full service doctor where you just lie down for a three hour appointment and five people swarm around and fix you like a race car
Brooke DiDonato
@brokedidonato
·
7 juil.
If your fence is bent I will find it
Images Generated By AI Machines
@images_ai
·
7 juil.
"brutalist amusement park"
pictures of the end
@neighbours_wifi
·
6 juil.
Ryan Ken (they/them)
@Ryan_Ken_Acts
·
4 juil.
It’s wild to me that you’ll see that the ocean is on fire and then have to send an email or something
Adam Nathaniel Furman
@Furmadamadam
·
2 juil.
Sculptures by the late, great, Bodys Isek Kingelez
Maître Chaton
@MaitreChaton
·
2 juil.
DEUX PERSONNES MAXIMUM C’EST CLAIR ?? Y’A PLUS ASSEZ DE RESPECT !!
lake micah @afrofatalism · 2 juil.
this has the look of the sort of image you’d find replicated and stretched across the book jacket of a university text, a volume entitled something like—
Deliquescent Ontologies: (En)Gendering Corporeal Peril in the Anthropocene (Duke UP, 2023)
Janet Strath @JanetStrath · 2 juil.
Department store wax mannequins melting during a heatwave in 1929
Mary Annaïse Heglar
@MaryHeglar
·
29 juin We can mourn what’s lost AND cherish what’s left. We can absolutely do both. We don’t really have a choice.
Thomas Shahan
@ThomasShahan
·
29 juin
Nice little group of wet lichens on a fallen branch
Quatuor Poulet
@BardaACAB
·
29 juin
J’ai jeté du sel sur le propriétaire de mon appart parce que j’ai lu sur internet que c’était comme ça qu’on se débarrassait des sangsues sauf que ça marche pas help !!!!
Alex Yablon @AlexYablon · 29 juin
The “Keep _______ Weird” crowd needs to learn that the way a place gets weird is by having cheap housing so people can work part time or not at all and still make rent
